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    Showing posts with label Divorce News. Show all posts

    Real Women Share Their Relationship Issues Marriage Problems

    There is one thing every married person will tell you: marriage is hard. Anyone in the midst of that proverbial honeymoon period may have a hard time believing that, though. Those first few months after you tie the knot, you truly understand the notion of wedded bliss. But once life starts to settle in, some inevitable problems crop up for most couples. We asked married women about the biggest issues in their marriages and here's what they had to say:

        Money, money, money. We can barely even talk about it in an objective, budget-discussing sense without getting all testy and defensive. So much emotional murk tied to money.
        It's kind of cliche, but he leaves his sh*t everywhere!
        He never goes to our kids' school activities or plays.
        Our marriage has three people -- me, my husband, and his mother.
        Tempering our expectations of one another. Often we will "expect" the other person to do things in the way that we would have done it, be it showering the kids or acknowledging a birthday, or having dinner on the table after a particularly hard day. And when that doesn't happen, coming back from that disappointment is hard. But we set ourselves up for it a lot of the time because maybe the other person didn't realize you wanted things done in a certain way or maybe our expectations are unfair and unrealistic.
        He doesn't want any more kids, but I want just one more.
        I figured this out a little too late, but I don't think we are actually sexually compatible.
        We don't spend enough alone time with each other. Between work, kids, and house stuff, I feel like I never see him.
        He doesn't help enough around the house. It's like he thinks the dishes miraculously wash themselves. When I ask him to help out, he says that he's too tired. Like I'm not!
        Too much time together. I have NO breathing room.
        He never tells me what he is thinking. It's like talking to a stone wall sometimes.
        He snores as loud as a freight train and won't do anything about it.
        He is obsessed with sports. He even tried to miss our child's birthday party because of some playoff game. I'm like, what's more important here?
        He doesn't respect my career goals as much as his own.
        He spends way too much time at strip clubs.
        He is Facebook friends with his ex-girlfriend. Sorry, but that's not okay.
        We never go on dates anymore. It's just work, home, work, home. Where's the excitement in that?
        He's never around. Sometimes I feel like a single mom.
        We never have sex. Like ever. It's like we are roommates.
        This may sound small, but it drives me nuts. He NEVER replaces the toilet paper roll. He will even open a package and use a new roll and just place it on the counter instead of in the holder. WHY???!!!

    Funny Divorce Meme Shows That Splitting Up Can Be Celebratory

    Little known fact: Not all divorc├ęs are shedding a river of tears, inhaling tubs of ice cream and blasting "All By Myself" after the split is finalized.

    For some folks, a finalized decree comes after months and even years of battling it out with their ex in divorce court. The end of the divorce process is something worth celebrating, which is why we're big fans of the meme Redditor defchan posted on Friday to commemorate his finalized divorce.

    Take a look:

    A little backstory on the photo: It was originally posted by Redditor zagood about a year ago to celebrate his birthday and his new post-split life. "40th birthday," he wrote. "Going through a divorce. Moved in with my parents. Cheers!"

    A sentiment that's perfectly worthy of a meme, if you ask us.

    Heidi Klum, Seal Divorce: Klum Admits To Dating Bodyguard on 'Katie'

    Heidi Klum has finally come clean about her reported relationship with bodyguard Martin Kristen.

    In an episode of "Katie" that aired Wednesday, the supermodel acknowledged to host Katie Couric that she is dating Kristen -- but she stopped short of calling it a relationship.

    "I don’t even know if I can call it that, you know? It just started so I don’t know. I don’t know where it’s gonna go," Klum said.

    "I’ve known him for four years and he’s been with our family for the last four years," Klum continued. "He’s cared for our entire family, mostly for our four children, helped us tremendously... I trust him with my children’s life. He’s a great man, you know, and we just got to know each other from a completely different side."

    Rumors of their relationship surfaced late last month when Klum was photographed getting close to Kristen while on vacation with her family in Sardinia. Seal fueled speculation by telling TMZ that he wished his ex had waited until they were separated before she decided to "fornicate with the help." His publicist later clarified that Seal did not intend to imply that Klum had cheated on him; rather, he meant that their divorce is not yet finalized so the couple is still legally married.
    Klum, who split from her singer husband in January 2012, told Couric that Seal used a "unique choice of words" and denied that she cheated on him during their marriage.

    "It’s not true. I’ve never looked at another man while I was with him," she said.

    She also revealed that she once thought her marriage would last forever.

    "I’m someone who believes in a fairy tale and when I said I do, I meant forever," she said. "But I don’t know... You never know what happens. Life changes. It’s that road with all those bumps and holes and you’re trying to struggle through them. And I don’t know…we just couldn’t make it work, you know?"

    Watch the clip above for more of Klum's interview. Then, check out photos of the couple in happier times below:

    Kim Kardashian Dating No One Right Now, She Says

    In an interview with "Extra" posted online Friday, the reality star told reporter AJ Calloway that she is staying clear of the dating scene.

    "Obviously, I've learned that I rush into things when I fall in love and get excited," Kardashian admitted. "I need to take my time, so maybe I should chill out for a little bit and not date -- it's the only thing I can do at this point. Whenever it happens, it'll just happens. I'm not worried about it, I'm not looking."

    So who is the current object of Kardashian's affection? She told Calloway that she's "in love with" two-year-old nephew, Mason Disick. "He's the love of my life!"

    Kardashian filed for divorce from Kris Humphries in October 2011, just 72 days after their $10 million wedding, which was broadcast in a two-day, four-hour special on E!.

    Why So Many Of Us Marry The Wrong Person

    Last month I wrote an article for HuffPost Divorce about my research that revealed 30% of divorced women knew they were marrying the wrong guy on their wedding day. This statistic triggered much consternation and denial. After wading through hundreds of comments bashing the institution of marriage, doubts about my methodology, and nasty remarks about women, men and relationships in general, it appears everyone missed the point.

    So let me put it another way: Have you ever talked yourself into a decision that you already knew was the wrong one? Of course you have. We all do. Have you ever taken a job that you knew in your gut wasn't a good fit for you? (Totally ignored the weird vibes from your new boss? Assured yourself you could learn to be "detail oriented and good with numbers.") What about buying that car that you really couldn't afford? (A $600-a -month car payment on a thirty thousand dollar a year salary -- yeah, right.) Or maybe you agreed to split the rent with your slovenly college friend in order to afford a nicer apartment. (Shut your eyes and hope she had magically changed into someone neat and tidy.) And what about the third donut you ate for breakfast this morning? (The little voice in your head promised: "I'll go for a run after work.")

    We can rationalize anything. But when we talk ourselves into dating the wrong guy or girl -- that's where the potential for lifelong heartache begins. So after hearing one too many clients admit that had doubts about their relationship long before the wedding -- the therapist in me wondered what I could do to change that. (And yes, men do it too -- but I'll get to that later.)

    I want to clarify that the doubts were not the garden-variety nerves that typically accompany any life-changing decision. They weren't just "cold feet" or "wedding day jitters." Rather, the women in my study talked about issues, concerns, doubts and other red flags that existed throughout the course of their relationship. Not just on their wedding day. The problem was that they had brushed their concerns aside. Instead of facing up to the red flags or exploring their gut feelings -- they squelched them and stayed in the relationship anyway.

    Selena Gomez Talks Parents' Divorce: 'I Blamed My Mom A Lot'

    n an E! Entertainment special that aired Wednesday night, teen queen Selena Gomez opened up about her parents' divorce.
    Gomez, who was 5-year-old when her parents split, blamed her mother for the divorce--something she deeply regrets.
    "I blamed my mom a lot [for the divorce] because I wanted a family so bad," Gomez said. "I wanted to have my mom and dad together. I remember just being angry with my mom. I still feel really bad about that."
    Her mother Mandy Teefey, who became pregnant at age 16, recounts her daughter's difficulty coping with the split. "[Selena] would vent and yell at me and all I could do is just say, 'I'm sorry--but you'll understand someday,'" she said.
    Today, Gomez defends single-parenthood and is grateful for her mother's many sacrifices.
    "Having me at sixteen had to have been a big responsibility. My mom gave up everything for me and had, like, three jobs. She supported me, sacrificed her life for me," she said.

    Women Who Lost Virginity Early More Likely To Divorce: Behind The Study

    Want a successful marriage? Make sure you have sex when you're ready.

    According to a new study, women who are sexually active early in their adolescence--specifically, before age 16--are more likely to divorce.

    Researchers at the University of Iowa used the responses of 3,793 women who are married or have been married at some point in their lives from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth to examine the relationship between the age at which they had their first sexual experience, and the success of their first marriage.

    At first glance, the findings seemed alarming: multiple outlets (including this one), reported that up to 47 percent of women who lost their virginity during their teen years divorced within 10 years of getting married--implying that women who lose their virginity during adolescence will inevitably face conflict in their later adult relationships.

    In fact, while the age at which sex first occurred was significant in determining women’s likelihood to divorce, more important was whether that sex qualified as “wanted." That's because the earlier women had their first sexual experience, the less frequently the sex was actually wanted. In short, the study's conclusions were less about the correlation between when a girl loses her virginity and her risk of divorce than it was about how the nature of the first sexual experience affects later romantic relationships.

    While some of the initial reports about the study alluded to this point, they often did not explore it completely, so we decided to go to the source--lead researcher Anthony Paik--to shed more light on this surprisingly complicated study.

    Should Women Really "Go Ugly"?

    This post originally appeared on The Good Men Project

    Vicki Larson and I have been having a fairly heated conversation about what ugly has to do, or not do, with a man being marrying material. Her Huffington Post column got huge attention for claiming that women should choose ugly husbands, lest they be subject to the Weiner/Tiger/Arnold syndrome--appealing and powerful men who crash and burn.
    I am not sure we will ever agree completely, but in my direct conversations with Vicki I get the sense that we actually agree, perhaps more than we disagree. Vicki and I thought it might be informative to engage in a spirited question and answer about her original piece and my sense of what manhood really is all about.
    Tom: Vicki, everywhere I look, there are articles that attempt to summarize manhood (ironically most often written by women). Don't you think making sweeping stereotype-driven judgments about men is the same thing as making those judgments about women, or blacks or gays?
    Vicki: You're surprised? Women love analyzing men! Sweeping stereotypes are horrible -- I hate being seen as a high-maintenance gold-digger living off my ex's hard-earned money just because I'm a divorced blonde. Intelligent people understand that the world doesn't work in absolutes -- "never" and "always."
    What saddens me reading the comments here and elsewhere is that we still focus on how "bad" the other sex is. The studies I cite are old, they've been written about many times before, but because of social media, many people knee-jerk react and spread it faster, farther and wider than before. So much for thoughtful commentary.
    Tom: I heard an interesting interview with Jon Hamm, who plays Don Draper on "Mad Men," in which he talked about how difficult it is for him to be objectified. He was serious about it and appeared to be an honest and sweet man despite his good looks. Should we be feeling sorry for him?
    Vicki: We all want to feel attractive, not objectified. Still, Hamm chose a career that feeds off of good looks and he's being paid well and has many opportunities because of it. But it's great he's talking about it because women don't know how men feel about being lust objects. Most women, however, do; even women who aren't "beautiful" are drooled over because they might have great breasts or a butt. We need to be empathetic to how the other sex experiences things; Louanne Brizendine's books on male and female brains are great.

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