Alain de Botton's latest book How To Think More About Sex has an eye-catching title, and is an intelligent discussion of society's greatest obsession. "We don’t think too much about sex," he says. "We’re merely thinking about it in the wrong way."

We interviewed the British writer and public intellectual via email about how none of us are 'normal', why sex will always be difficult, and what the ultimate point of sex is for us all.

Why did you choose to write about sex?
I wrote it because it's rare for anyone to get through this life without feeling – generally with a degree of secret agony, perhaps at the end of a relationship, or as we lie in bed frustrated next to our partner, unable to go to sleep – that we are somehow a bit odd about sex.

It is an area in which most of us have a painful impression, in our heart of hearts, that we are quite unusual. Despite being one of the most private of activities, sex is nonetheless surrounded by ideas about how normal people are meant to feel about and deal with the matter.

In truth, however, few of us are remotely normal sexually. We are almost all haunted by guilt and neuroses, by phobias and disruptive desires, by indifference and disgust. None of us approaches sex as we are meant to, with the cheerful, sporting, non-obsessive, constant, well-adjusted outlook that we torture ourselves by believing that other people are endowed with. We are universally deviant – but only in relation to some highly distorted ideals of normality. So it's time to accept the strangeness of sex with good humour and courage - and start to talk about it with honesty and compassion.

This is what my book is about: an invitation to think more about a subject we mistakenly think we know all about already.


What are the advantages and disadvantages about society's obsession with sex?
The problem lies in the feeling that we live at a time where we're very advanced about sex. We look back at the 19th century, or pre 1960s and think, 'Now they had a problem. Whereas we...' Well, it's not so simple. Whatever discomfort we do feel around sex is aggravated by the idea that we belong to a liberated age – and ought by now, as a result, to be finding sex a straightforward and untroubling matter.

Despite our best efforts to clean it of its peculiarities, sex will never be either simple in the ways we might like it to be. It can die out; it refuses to sit neatly on top of love, as it should. Tame it though we may try, sex has a recurring tendency to wreak havoc across our lives. Sex remains in absurd, and perhaps irreconcilable, conflict with some of our highest commitments and values. Perhaps ultimately we should accept that sex is inherently rather weird instead of blaming ourselves for not responding in more normal ways to its confusing impulses.

This is not to say that we cannot take steps to grow wiser about sex. We should simply realise that we will never entirely surmount the difficulties it throws our way.

What are the biggest issues we face as a society about sex?
It is very rare to have a lot of sex. Very few people do. There are good and bad reasons for this. Here are some of the worse one: we may not be having too much sex because our partner is angry with us - or we with them. The common conception of anger posits red faces, raised voices and slammed doors, but only too often, it takes on a different form, for when it doesn’t understand or acknowledge itself, anger just curdles into numbness, into a blank 'I'm not in the mood...'

There are two reasons we tend to forget we are angry with our partner, and hence become anaesthetized, melancholic and unable to have sex with him.

Firstly, because the specific incidents that anger us happen so quickly and so invisibly, in such fast-moving and chaotic settings (at breakfast time, before the school run, or during a conversation on mobile phones in a windy plaza at lunchtime) that we can’t recognise the offence well enough to mount any sort of coherent protest against it. The arrow is fired, it wounds us, but we lack the resources or context to see how and where, exactly, it has pierced our armour.

And second, we frequently don’t articulate our anger even when we do understand it, because the things that offend us can seem so trivial, finicky or odd that they would sound ridiculous if spoken aloud. Even rehearsing them to ourselves can be embarrassing.

We may, for example, be deeply wounded when our partner fails to notice our new haircut or doesn’t use a breadboard while cutting a bit of baguette, thus scattering crumbs everywhere, or goes straight upstairs to watch television without stopping to ask about our day. These hardly seem matters worth lodging formal complaints over. To announce, ‘I am angry with you because you’re cutting the baguette in the wrong way’, is to risk sounding at once immature and insane. But we may need to spell our complaints in order to get in the vulnerable, trusting honest mood that makes sex possible.

It's not unusual to walk into a bathroom stall and see a mix of short notes, graffiti and stories. But it is unusual for someone to take the time to craft a thoughtful response. That's just what one Reddit user saw when she entered the girls' bathroom at her university.

"In a girls' bathroom stall at my university, girls have written about some of their most horrifying life experiences," wrote Reddit user chellylauren on January 14th. This week, someone replied."

She posted a photograph of the bathroom stall note on imgur. Read it and prepare to be inspired. (Scroll down for the full text of the note, formatted.)

To the girl who was raped: You are so strong. I cannot fathom the pain you must have gone through. The fact that you have the bravery to write it (even on a bathroom wall) gives me hope.
To the girl with eating disorders: I promise you, although I don't know you, you are beautiful, you deserve your health. You deserve freedom from that hell.

To the girl with the alcoholic father: I am so sorry for the agony it must cause. again, such courage is remarkable you must be such a strong person to see such pain.

To the girl whose father died: Missing them never goes away. The ache of their absence never goes away. ut the love they had, the memories you share surely must last. I am sure, out of the bottom of my heart, the people who have left you in this world are exceptionally proud of the person you are.

Everytime(sic) I see these walls, these confessions, I feel so blessed to know I have the priviledge(sic) of seeing them. Your moments, these secrets, are all precious even though they are sad. To all of you (including those I did not mention, and those who have not yet written)
-You are worthy.
-You are strong.
-You are brave.
-You are loved.
-Somebody cares.

The same gene that can determine a woman’s breast size could also be linked to her odds of developing breast cancer, with larger cup-sizes more likely to develop tumors, according to the results of a new study California-based personal genomics and biotechnology company 23andMe.

The firm reported that they were able to identify “seven single-nucleotide polymorphisms (SNPs) significantly associated with breast size, including three SNPs also correlated with breast cancer,” according to CBS News reports. The study, which has been published in the journal BMC Medical Genetics, marks the first time that a genetic correlation between breast size and the risk of developing breast cancer has been made.

In the study, the researchers contacted more than 16,000 women of European ancestry. Each study participant identified their bra size on a 10-point scale, ranging from smaller than AAA to larger than DDD, and also answered questions regarding their age, genetic ancestry, pregnancy history, breast surgery history, and breast feeding status, CBS News and Tamara Cohen of the Daily Mail reported.

The women were then grouped into 10 categories based on their cup sizes, and the researchers identified genome regions associated with differences in breast development, the UK National Health Service (NHS) explained.

The 23andMe scientists then compared those genome regions with those known to be associated with increased breast cancer risk, before conducting a secondary analysis of 29 DNA variations also linked to breast cancer and finding out whether or not those variations were also associated with breast size among the study group, the NHS added.

They found that two out of seven unique genome variations “significantly associated” with breast size were also associated with breast cancer, and a third variation, discovered in the secondary analysis, had a “possible association” but one that was not statistically significant.

“There are surprising connections between some of the genes involved in determining breast size and the genes involved in breast cancer,” lead author Nick Eriksson told The Huffington Post. However, he also emphasized that the link is somewhat “uncertain” and that “based on current knowledge, it’s not a strong risk factor” in terms of breast cancer development.

“While the precise relationships between breast size, density, obesity and breast cancer remain difficult to untangle, understanding the biology… may aid in the development of novel screening tools,” Eriksson added in a separate interview with the Daily Mail’s Cohen.


Source: redOrbit Staff & Wire Reports - Your Universe Online

The world of modeling has a pretty catty reputation, but do modeling agencies also have the same stigma? If you'd ask Constance Jablonski's opinion, we're guessing she'd say yes -- now that she's being sued by Marilyn Model Management, at least.

The Victoria's Secret Angel has just been slapped with a $3.3 million lawsuit by Marilyn, her former agency, New York Daily News reports. The company is claiming that Constance, who serves as the face of Calvin Klein and Christian Dior, violated a three-year contract with Marilyn when she left to seek representation with DNA Model Management. (Ms. Jablonski was legally bound to stay with Marilyn until September 2014, according to NYDN.)

The case asserts that Constance was “a virtually unknown model” before signing with Marilyn in 2008 -- ouch. Two years later, the French stunner was landing major contracts like Estée Lauder and strutting down the catwalk for her first Victoria's Secret show. Marilyn claims that losing out on that annual runway gig and Constance's lucrative beauty contract has hurt the agency.

"DNA’s wrongful conduct is for the purpose of destablizing Marilyn’s business, and causing irreparable damage to its image [and] reputation,” the model's former agency claims.

To add more intrigue, Marilyn alleges that the 21-year-old was lured to DNA "under false pretenses." We're not sure what that means, but, lucky for us, Constance addressed the drama via her Twitter account today:

“With a New Year comes new beginnings. After my bookers, many of those I began with at Marilyn and my dearest Marilyn Gaultier left the agency this past year, I decided to move on to DNA. I’m very excited with the move and I hope you are too!! Wishing all my friends from Marilyn all the best with their new beginnings. Thank you to all of you followers and fans, for always supporting me!!”
Hm, we'll just have to wait and see what happens. But, from the sounds of it, it seems like this is more of an issue between the two agencies than Marilyn and Constance. Can't everyone just play nice?

The creators of "South Park," Andrew Sullivan and comedian Louis C.K. defied conventions by going solo with their own media companies. But what does it take to ensure indie media success? Amanda Palmer, singer for The Dresden Dolls, spoke to HuffPost Live host Mike Sacks on Tuesday about going from end to end of the indie spectrum.

Palmer went from busking on the sidewalk for years, to raising over a million dollars on Kickstarter for her solo album, which became a top ten hit last year. Looking forward, she argues that there's no single answer for what will work for independent artist and journalists.

"I think there's going to be as many different systems as there are outlets and artists, and I think trying to make a blanket rule about what will work for journalists, or what will work for musicians, or what will work for authors, is kind of the wrong conversation," Palmer told HuffPost Live.

Instead, Palmer focuses on using technology to present a unique approach to fans, saying "the cool thing about the Internet now is that you can totally personalize and customize your little system."

"Donnie Darko" producer Hunt Lowry also joined the conversation, saying that "there's always a few lucky breaks" in the world of independent film production, adding that producers need to be on as many platforms as possible, including the Internet, television, cable, and home video.

"You may be small and independent, but you still want it to be seen by as many people as possible," Lowry said.

It's that time of year again when a tiny ski-resort town becomes the place to be for anyone in show business – stars and directors, distribution executives, musicians, unknown filmmakers hoping that people might want to hear the stories they tell.

Opening Thursday, the Sundance Film Festival takes over Park City for a week and a half every January. Anything resembling a theater is booked with screenings. Directors and their casts trudge snowy streets to introduce films and do interviews. Bars and restaurants are stuffed with people talking deals, or just talking about something crazy or unexpected they just saw on screen.

"It's almost like Burning Man. Once a year, this tiny little town that then transforms itself into kind of a crazy film city for 10 days out of the year," said writer-director Lynn Shelton, a Sundance regular ("Humpday," "Your Sister's Sister") who returns this year with "Touchy Feely," starring Rosemarie DeWitt as a massage therapist suddenly struck by an aversion to touching others. "It's crammed with people all there for one reason. Whatever relationship they have to the industry, they're all there for the love of films."

The top U.S. showcase for independent cinema, Sundance has grown along with the do-it-yourself film world and has played a huge role in creating opportunities for low-budget filmmakers to get their work made and seen.

Robert Redford added the festival in 1985 as an offshoot of his Sundance Institute that offers professional support to indie filmmakers.

That first year, the festival showed a couple of dozen films. This year, Sundance is playing 119 feature films from 32 countries, culled from about 4,000 that were submitted.

"It's gotten pretty overwhelming," Redford said. "I never dreamed when we started – we didn't even know that we would last – and then when it lasted and grew, it became huge. I never anticipated that it would get to this size."

Now the name Sundance is almost a synonym for the possibilities of independent film. The festival helped launch the careers of filmmakers such as Steven Soderbergh, Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino and has premiered such Academy Award winners and nominees as "Little Miss Sunshine," "Precious," "Winter's Bone" and last year's top Sundance prize winner, "Beasts of the Southern Wild."

This year's lineup includes Ashton Kutcher as Apple co-founder Steve Jobs in director Joshua Michael Stern's film biography "jOBS"; Amanda Seyfried as porn star Linda Lovelace in Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman's "Lovelace"; Shia LaBeouf and Evan Rachel Wood in Fredrik Bond's romance "The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman"; Dakota Fanning and Elizabeth Olsen in Naomi Foner's teen tale "Very Good Girls"; Daniel Radcliffe as Allen Ginsberg in John Krokidas' beat-poet story "Kill Your Darlings"; and Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy in Richard Linklater's "Before Midnight," a follow-up to "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset."


There's also a reunion for two "Little Miss Sunshine" stars: Steve Carell and Toni Collette co-star in Nat Faxon and Jim Rash's Sundance premiere "The Way, Way Back."

Redford has insisted on giving documentaries equal time with dramatic features, and this year's festival has a wild range of nonfiction topics, including Barbara Kopple's "Running from Crazy," a study of Mariel Hemingway and her family's history of mental illness and suicide, including that of grandfather Ernest Hemingway; Alison Ellwood's "History of the Eagles Part 1," a portrait of the pop super-group; Alex Gibney's "We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks"; Foo Fighters singer Dave Grohl's "Sound City," a look at a venerable recording studio; Freida Mock's "Anita," a portrait of Anita Hill, who accused Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment; and R.J. Cutler and Greg Finton's "The World According to Dick Cheney," an examination of the former vice president.

"The company is such good company. The programmers at Sundance, their taste is impeccable," said Lucy Walker, who premiered her 2010 documentaries "Countdown to Zero" and "Waste Land" and returns this year with "The Crash Reel," chronicling the recovery of snowboarder Kevin Pearce from a traumatic brain injury. "I feel like right now, the documentary field at Sundance, it's just such a remarkable collection of top-quality films."

Actress and filmmaker Lake Bell, who directed a short film that premiered at Sundance in 2011 and co-starred in last year's festival feature "Black Rock," said coming to Park City in January reminds her of going back to college.

In an age when airbrushing the naked body has become a photography standard, the works of Nadav Kander are absolutely refreshing. The Israel-born, UK-based artist captures a wildly diverse survey of form and flesh, exquisitely displayed in a new exhibit titled "Bodies, 6 Women, 1 Man" at London's Flowers Gallery.

Kander's exhibit harkens back to Renaissance masterpieces, featuring classically styled female and male nudes baring and contorting their bodies. Covered in white marble dust, the models appear like pristine sculptures or a figure from an ethereal period painting.

Yet as photographs, the works are innately modern, a characteristic not lost in the subjects' tendency to actively hide their faces from the camera. Unlike the pensive gaze that can be seen in works by Raphael or Bellini, the eyes of Kander's alabaster nudes almost always avert the lens, hiding behind outstretched arms or backwards facing bodies. Present yet private, archaic yet contemporary, familiar yet newly distinct; the efficacious project puts forth a new definition of the nude that alerts us to paradox after paradox.

“I don’t want to make art that’s simple, ‘correct for the times,’ or merely to fit a gap in the market," Kander explained in a recent interview with TIME magazine. "I make things that nourish me.”

The unabashed artist will be showing his work until February 9 at Flowers Gallery in London. Scroll down for a preview of his work and let us know what you think of his "Bodies" in the comments section.