In I Don’t Even Understand How In The Hell This Could Ever Happen news, The Ghana News Agency is reporting that a man and a woman renting out a “guest house” (which I guess is probably the equivalent of a cheap motel) near a public market in Sunyani, Ghana became, uh, stuck, when the man could not remove his penis from the woman’s vagina following intercourse. Hooooo boy. From Graphic Online:

An attendant at the guest house told the GNA on condition of anonymity that the two booked the room for 30 minutes but when the time elapsed they failed to come out. He said he knocked at the door but heard some unusual sound from the room and informed some traders in the market.

“When we forced the door open we saw the unexpected as the two lovers were lying on the floor in torment,” the attendant said. Some of the market women said the woman was a trader from Berekum who sells soap every market day.

Some of them attributed the cause of the incident to a curse placed either on the man or the woman and added that rituals had to be performed before they could be separated.

So that sounds like a sexy, fun time. I mean, obviously any news outlet reporting that rituals needed to be performed to remove a curse that super glues your genitals together needs to be taken with a grain of salt — but we also know there are legitimate medical oddities out there, such as the man with 132 pound nutsack, Sex Sent Me To The ER, and you do not even want to know what kind of freaky sh*t they have at Philadelphia’s Mutter Museum. So, suspending all disbelief, what do you guys think? Did she have some kind of super-suctioney vagina like a finger trap or did he have a penis shaped like an umbrella? These are VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS we need to be asking. Got theories? Leave ‘em in the comments, because I for one would love to hear them.