Ah yes, the catastrophes that can be avoided simply by putting on a pair of shorts.

Security footage posted to YouTube shows a naked hotel guest sneak out to the hallway to dispose of a dirty food service tray, only to find himself locked out of his room in the nude.

The video, "Never Do This In Hotel," shows the nude dude awkwardly avoid guests outside of his room, hide his nether regions with dirty dishes, slip into an elevator, encounter a mother and child and plead with hotel staff to quickly produce a new room key.

Sound familiar?

"Comedy fans may recall that a similary fate once befell Rowan Atkinson’s TV character Mr. Bean," the New York Daily News points out.

If this video turns out to just be a stunt, nobody -- your dear Weird News editors included -- will be surprised. Still, shameful and avoidable nudity is always good for a laugh.

Emma Watson may get fit for a glass slipper after all. Four years after Watson was loosely attached to star in a musical version of the classic fairy tale "Cinderella" for Marilyn Manson (file under: things that were real), Variety reports that Watson is in "very early talks" to play the role in a new film from Kenneth Branagh. Cate Blanchett would play Watson's evil stepmother.

Fairy tale adaptations were all the rage after Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" exploded at the box office in 2010 (the film earned over $1 billion worldwide), but the recent adaptations have been hit and miss. Released last summer, "Snow White and the Huntsman" was a big success (nearly $400 million in global ticket sales), but other films like "Mirror Mirror" (based on Snow White) and "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" have failed to connect. "Jack the Giant Slayer," a new take on "Jack and the Beanstalk," is out Friday via Warner Bros., but the film is not tracking to earn much more than $30 million on opening weekend, a pittance compared to its massive budget.

Watson has kept very busy since playing Hermione in the "Harry Potter" franchise. She was praised last year for her role in "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and stars next in "The Bling Ring" from director Sofia Coppola. Watson also filmed a role for Darren Aronofsky's "Noah" (due in 2014) and is attached to play the co-title character in "Beauty and the Beast" for director Guillermo del Toro. That film would shoot this year.

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UP Basic Edu Teacher Recruitment 2012 - 2013
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 Two police detectives were shot and killed when they tried to question a man over a report of a sexual assault, and the man later died after a brief chase, authorities said.

Sgt. Loren Butch Baker, who was married and the father of two daughters, and Detective Elizabeth Butler, who had two sons, were shot and killed Tuesday during an altercation at the home of the man, according to police and the Santa Cruz County Sheriff's office.

They were shot while following up on allegations that 35-year-old barista Jeremy Goulet made inappropriate sexual advances on a co-worker at her home, authorities said. Goulet was arrested Friday, and The Santa Cruz Sentinel reported that he was fired the next day.

Baker, a 28-year veteran of the force, and Butler, a 10-year veteran, had gone to the house where Goulet was living to follow up on the case, authorities said. They were subsequently fired upon and called for backup, and responding officers found Goulet, who died in the gunfire that followed, the sheriff's office said.

"There aren't words to describe this horrific tragedy," said Police Chief Kevin Vogel. "This is the darkest day in the history of the Santa Cruz police department."

The shootings prompted the lockdown of two schools and an automatic police call to nearby residents, warning them to stay locked inside. The ordinarily quiet residential neighborhood echoed with a brief barrage of gunfire that killed the suspect about a half hour after the officers were shot.

The nip slip might just be the trickiest wardrobe malfunction to spot. It's swift, it's subtle and there are so many shades of gray involved.

This brings us to our latest head-scratcher: Mariah Carey's onstage look at the So So Def 20th anniversary concert last Saturday. Did the singer actually have a wardrobe malfunction or is she the victim of unfortunate shadowing?

The 42-year-old was all smiles as she performed alongside Jermaine Dupri, but nobody seemed to alert her to the fact that her low-cut dress was dropping into dangerous territory. The white bustier number wasn't exactly the most, er, supportive look.

Since we're having such a hard time pinning this one down, we'll file it in our brains under the same category as Jennifer Lopez's dress from the 2012 Oscars and try to forget the whole thing.

In a rare departure from satire, The Onion has issued a sincere apology for a tweet posted on its official Twitter account Sunday night that called 9-year-old Best Actress nominee Quvenzhané Wallis an offensive slur.

Steve Hannah, the CEO of Onion, Inc., posted a letter apologizing on the fake news outlet's official Facebook page.

    Dear Readers,

    On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting.

You can read the rest of the apology here.

The tweet in question, which was posted during the live broadcast of the Academy Awards ceremony, posed the sarcastic question that many felt crossed the line: "Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a c--t, right? #Oscars2013". (The original tweet did not censor the slur.)

The tweet was deleted about an hour later after enormous social media backlash.

Hannah went on to say that The Onion has "instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again," and that the individuals responsible for the tweet have been disciplined accordingly. (The Onion does not publicly credit individual writers for articles or jokes.)

This public apology is a change from how The Onion typically addresses controversy. The humor outlet rarely "breaks character" in the face of outcry, such as when they ran satirical coverage of a shooter in Washington, D.C. in 2011 that alarmed many residents. At the time, a spokesperson for the company simply said, "This is satire. That's how it works."

Should The Onion have apologized? Answer in our poll below

The JW Marriott's Marquis Dubai formally opened Feb. 26 after gaining the title of tallest hotel from Guinness World Records. At 355 meters (1,099 feet), the hotel would tower over skylines in most cities. But in Dubai, it sits in the shadow of its more than twice-as-high neighbor, the Burj Khalif, the world's tallest skyscraper at 828 meters (2,717 feet).

The exterior side entrance of the JW Marriott's Marquis Dubai. (Photo courtesy of JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai)

The lead singer of Australian hard rockers Frenzal Rhomb has revealed he was forced to cancel a recent tour after surgeons discovered a pig tapeworm egg had infected his brain.

In a tale worthy of the Twilight Zone, Jay Whalley enlightened fans to his recent health crisis, which was four years in the making on the band's Facebook page Tuesday.

After suffering two seizures after a gig on January 25, the Sydney singer was rushed to hospital where scans showed a 1-centimeter tumor.

Whalley underwent a three-hour operation on February 14 and, instead of a cancerous tumor, surgeons found a mysterious parasitic infection.

Further investigation revealed it to be ''basically the egg from a pig tapeworm,'' which the vegetarian rocker may have picked up by accidental contact with an infected person during his Central American travels four years ago.

''Once in my stomach they never become tapeworms, but they migrate into the muscle, most of the time causing no problem and you'll never know it's there, the only place you'll have problems is if they make it to your brain or eyes,'' Whalley explained.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is alerting clinicians of an emerging untreatable multidrug-resistant organism in the United States.

There are many forms of Carbapenem-resistant Enterobacteriaceae (CRE), but of the 37 forms reported in the U.S., 15 have been reported in less than a year.

The CDC said the increase in CRE means health care providers need to “act aggressively to prevent the emergence and spread of these unusual CRE organisms.”

Enterobacteriaceae lives in water, soil and the human gut. These “surperbugs” have developed high levels of resistance to antibiotics – even carbapanems. Individuals who usually develop CRE infections are those who are taking antibiotics and getting significant medical treatment for other conditions.

The majority of CRE were “isolated from patients who received overnight medical treatment outside of the United States,” according to the CDC.

Health care providers that encounter CRE infections should follow the CDC’s recommendations in the 2012 CRE toolkit.

Persons who shared a room with a patient who has a CRE infection – and maybe even health care providers who treated the infected patient – should be screened to make sure they have not caught the infection.

Ke$ha somehow always finds a way to outdo herself.

The urine-drinking, cannoli-fellating, beard-licking pop star just took it a step further, speaking to Q Magazine about the inspiration behind one of her latest singles, "Gold Trans Am."

"It began as a song about my car, which is a gold Trans Am, and it works about 40 percent of the time," Ke$ha told Q Magazine. "I don't have another car because I love that one so much. But then like all great pop, it became a metaphor for something else -- my p---y."

"My vagina is in tip-top working order," she continued. "Valeted and souped-up and working 100 percent of the time."

Lest she stop there, Ke$ha went on to explain that she gets help on songs like "Gold Trans Am" from none other than her mom. "We write songs about boys and sex together," she said. “That may not be normal to the average psychiatrist out there but I think it's pretty cool."